Some off the rail thoughts about...

The Celebration of Bad

“Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.” An oft repeated nugget of wisdom from my uncle, or maybe the internet. Who knows at this point. It pairs well with another classic expression, “Everyone's a critic.”

Criticism isn't entirely a new idea, though some casual googling suggests the term and practice came about sometime in the 17th century, which coincides with the rise of printed works rising in popularity that were not the Bible. As a result, it became a newspaper feature to inform folks of a newly available title and maybe some thoughts if it's worth the investment. Today we refer to it as “Journalistic Criticism”.

It wasn't too long before literary enthusiasts began publishing more pointed opinions, seeking to raise or destroy the profile of local authors they deemed worthy. Fast forward a couple centuries and it was easy to slot those fancy new talking pictures into the same format. A lot of coverage focused simply on the release of a new title and a few impressions. But a new generation of nerds came about becoming the latest taste makers of cinema.

Fundamentally, these critics certainly had a deep love of their chosen media. At the end of the day, however, they were always concerned with what is “Good”, by whatever arbitrary metrics and standards they devised.

Enter Mystery Science Theatre 3000, brain child of Joel Hodgson. Inspired by the likes of “The Golden Turkey Awards”, which nominated and awarded the worst movies, MST3K took to commentating and joking over old B-tier films. The kind of parody may be older, but it was the first time I was made aware that just because something is maybe “Not Good” does not mean it has no value. Even if the only value might be poking fun at it.

Speeding through history again, we see the rapid explosion of video games hitting worldwide markets. And again, a cottage industry of reviewers informed the public of what was worth a substantial price tag. The best were put on pedestals while the rest were tossed to the gutters of history. At least, until the internet popped up.

Much nostalgia was waxed for arcades and past generations of home consoles. Aggravations were shared for money wasted on bad rentals or squandered gift opportunities with regrettable titles. Until comedy found its way round again to make light of bad video games with the likes of James Rolph his creation: The Angry Video Game Nerd (formerly The Angry Nintendo Nerd).

This video series took early video sites by storm. A novel mix of nostalgia exploration and foul mouthed lamentations infected my adolescent mind as I watched them on repeat alternating between nodding in agreement and howling with laughter. It was such a wildly successful format, many speculate it single handedly paved the way for most (if not all) video game content on YouTube. Personally, nearly everything I consumed on YouTube from the late oughts through the mid 10's got their start doing largely the same thing: find an off beat “bad” game, poke fun at it, add a review spin to it, maybe even validate some elements of it.

Thankfully, there's been evolutions in content creation. Not everything needs to be presented with an over the top aire of vitriol. Many creators now make deep dive documentaries on technology and specific titles. Others simply take an honest look at a game and comment on what works and what makes it a worthwhile visit today. And still others just show off playing them for the simple joy of playing.

And that's a beautiful thing. Taking movies or games that may have been lambasted or pushed aside when it came out and giving it a sort of second chance. Not necessarily to defend a specific title, but for the pure love of a medium and just wanting to celebrate all of it, good or bad.

(Disclaimer: These rambling thoughts were at one time part of a larger piece taking up space in the cluttered attic of my mind. Maybe someday I'll come back to this and rework it into a more polished full piece.)

A casual ramble about...

Frivolity

To know me is to know that “being in a bit of a slump” is effectively my natural state of being. I have discussed many times, at exhaustive length, my general malaise toward life; a certain hopelessness about my position. I struggle most every day with finding joy in anything I do. Even the things I tell myself I would love to spend my dwindling free time with have a habit of twisting into acts of despair. In response, on these numerous occasions, my partner has brought up a classic thought experiment:

“If money were no object, what is it you would want to do?”

That's usually where the conversation ends. I have never had a good answer. Maybe I do now. Although, it's not a satisfying one.

I want to fail.

Given the premise, presumably I would be free to pursue anything my heart desires. And while that framing is most often used to break one's preconceived notions of “success” or “what is a proper way of life”, inherent is also the privilege to just try things.

Perhaps that's what I want most. The luxury to throw precious time and expense at a smattering of projects just to see if I like them, if I find them fulfilling, if I can derive a sense of meaning from the experience.

For so long I have found myself in a life that has been dangling by the proverbial thread. There has been little room for errors in expending energy, time and money on frivolous projects that do not actively contribute to the household. It sounds like Nirvana to be given the chance to resurrect the buried forgotten box of dead dreams just to find out they are a poor fit for me; to explore the breadth of long held interests to discover I will never attain mastery of those skills; and to perhaps reclaim a locked away sense of humanity with the glee of a fool who proudly recognizes they know nothing, chases curiosity with reckless abandon, and fails at everything except enlightening their sprit.

What would you do?

I have been in college for 5.5 years, with that half being a personal break, and in that time I have noticed a pattern in my own behavior. I seem to be experiencing mild panic/anxiety attacks more frequently when it comes to college matters. I took that break from college in what was supposed to be my 5th semester and realized something horrible. I was not interested in mechanical engineering at all. I am in awe of how much innovation it took in that field to get humanity to our current level. But at the end of the day, it was just that. Fascination. It is akin to how you'd feel when you see beautiful scenery. I mistook that feeling for passion, and my judgment was also clouded by the logic behind choosing a major with one of the best prospects and also my personal history since my father is also a mechanical engineer. It felt like it was the safest and therefore correct answer back then.

I have failed to realize that I've known deep down that it was not the right choice for me. All along, the fire that burned in my heart was that of a forge, which fuel my love of creation. I love the active act of creating something. From poetry to illustrations, all the way to coding. I've always loved the idea and feeling of creating something with my own two hands. I know I can use my knowledge of mechanical engineering to create something, but most engineers know that the majority of the work in mechanical engineering is in either management or research. And I am neither a manager nor a researcher. I know some people love these things and it is admirable to be good at them. But I realized now that for me to be happy or content with my life, my next phase in life needs to take into account my love for creating something with my own two hands.

I have vague ideas about how I want to tackle this new year, but that's just how I like to live my life. My attempt to conform to societal norms like having and following a detailed plan for my future is what got me into this messy headspace. I shall now revert to the last version of myself that was happy. The one that has vague ideas and navigates the world adaptively, rather than the one that tries to predict the future and play with numbers and statistics to obtain a “picture-perfect life”. I just hope I won't cause too much anxiety for the people I love and care for, like my partner and my family. Since I like to live my life in a bit of a reckless way to some people.

Wish me luck, and I wish you well friends.

There's nothing that tickles my need for contents of magical wonders quite like the show “The Librarian”. I've briefly mentioned before in another platform within the astral realm that it is a favorite TV Show of mine. It follows the story of a team of geniuses selected by a magical library to become librarians tasked to retrieve and secure magical artifacts so that they may not be abused by others for personal gain. Along their journey, they are accompanied by a guardian which was tasked to protect those librarians, be it their physical bodies or their hearts and soul from the temptations or other dangers of magic itself.

The show itself has a mediocre production value, but what it lacks in visual flair, it makes up in worldbuilding. It is one of the more interesting takes on the “hidden magic society” trope though they didn't innovate much or reinvent the wheel but rather played to their strengths and built their own narrative progressively. They managed to create a simple yet elegant magic system that supports the main idea of the story. The world itself seems to also be affected by previous stories, making the world feel more tangible to the audience.

Most of the characters in the main cast have a pretty interesting background and though they're not original, they create quite compelling interactions with each other to create vulnerable moments that are a treat to follow. The way they interact with each other and with the world is also internally consistent, making it a wonderfully satisfying show to watch in my humble opinion.

And the stories itself is full of fun, quirky, and interesting magical phenomenons that keep me wanting more and more. The only “downside” is that there was never a real sense of danger or risk in it. This show has a very cliche approach of “happily ever after” to the endings of their stories. This is one of the things that I liked about the show but I acknowledge that it can make the show unappealing to some.

The show is such a fun experience and I had a blast rewatching the entire thing. I'm still pretty sad that I won't get more of that show. But I am pretty content with where they left the show. Overall, I give the show a 7.5/10 and would recommend it to those who loved “Doctor Who” for its campy adventures and shenanigans. “The Librarians” won't match the writing quality of “Doctor Who”, but it certainly scratches the same itch for me.

The AI portraits have been all over TikTok, and most of them that I've seen are beautiful. And I've really wanted to try it. Just in general I don't really have a lot of pictures of myself, and even fewer where I feel pretty, and it would be nice to feel pretty. I'd like to have some of those beautiful portraits of myself to use on social media or for whatever else, or just to have.

However.

I understand that there is a not insignificant ethical issue when it comes to things like that. For one, there's the whole stolen art thing. I would be using AI to create portraits, and then using those for my own vanity, without any means of crediting the people actually responsible for the art behind it.

There's the issue of feeding pictures into AI for facial recognition, which just feels kind of icky, just in general.

It all feels kind of cold. Yes the pictures are beautiful, and it's impressive, and from a technology standpoint this is really cool. But the beauty of art is the humanity in it. And while out of vanity I would really like to have the pretty pictures, it just feels wrong to me.

So I'll probably just stick to enjoying the ones that other people make.

I suppose the first post should probably be some manner of introduction. Well, hello.

The whole Lenore thing I pulled from a few different places. Edger Allen Poe of course, but not exactly for a straight forward reason. Like how in Ever After, Danielle's father gives her Utopia, and it's the last book he gives her before he dies, the Complete Works of Edger Allen Poe was the last book my father gave me before he died.

Also, I really enjoy Roman Dirge's Lenore comic.

As for a theme for this fun little blog... There probably won't be one. I've tried writing a blog following a theme, and it doesn't seem to work out too terribly well for me. So we'll see where this goes.

It'll be a fun little adventure.

Cabin in the Woods

Waking to bacon sizzling Brisk mornings spent splitting logs Returning to the warm cabin’s embrace Oh, how I miss those morning in the cabin Always being a comforting face

Afternoons and nights spent talking Dinners of fried chicken and potato salad Oh, how I miss those nights in the cabin The birds singing their ballad

A visit once a year, never enough Oh, how I miss the cabin in the woods Losing it will always be rough