A Thorough Introduction
A Tale Behind The Name
Greetings! I am Pangkualam Singodimejo. It is a name I chose for my online persona, crafted through luck, vibes, and half-ass research on the internet. Truly a name fitting for me.
It is written in my native tongue, with vague meanings that I am not sure actually exist. “Pangkualam” is supposed to be a name that describes a person of brilliant and creative nature. It is an old custom where I live to name one's child with a prayer for the future of the child. Thus, this is my prayer for my own future. This part of the name is the one I claimed for myself rather recently. And it is the part I researched very lazily.
For a long time, I've taken the name “Singodimejo” for my outward-facing persona on the internet. It is actually stolen from another person. I've come across the name because there was a foreigner in my Silat dojo back in my high school days who took a native name and made a book. I loved the sound of the name and how silly the literal meaning is. “Singodimejo” is a word made out of the sentence “Singo di mejo”. “Singo” means Lion, “di mejo” means on a table. It literally translates to just Lion on a table. I find it hilarious and decided to take the name for myself.
Thus, Pangkualam Singodimejo was born. moving forward, I plan to use this pseudonym on anything I create for the public. Though it is such a native-sounding name, I won't be doing any native cultural content. I just created it that way to remind myself of my roots, my prayer, and my silly nature.
A Brief Personal History
I have been alive on this earth for at least 23 years. It is a rather colorful journey so far. I am the first child in a family of 5 and grew up in a middle-class family in a third-world country. According to my mother, she had suspected that I could be autistic as a child but was scared to go to a psychologist to confirm. I only tried to take the self-evaluation test recently and it seemed to line up somewhat. I try not to dive head-first into that assumption since it didn't really affect my life unreasonably. Though if we're going by the TikTok algorithm, I might also have ADHD which isn't far-fetched considering what I've read about it and how it compares to my personal experiences.
I grew up a Muslim, yet I've personally struggled with faith these days. One of the main reasons was because due to the terrorist scares back in 2012(?) I was bullied because my parents were devout believers and dressed like the depictions of terrorists in the news. The bullying left a mental scar and I unconsciously hid my faith from the world. I am currently trying to reconnect with my faith but it is a struggle. I do keep the general ideas from my religion such as being kind as an integral part of my conduct. I am making efforts to be a better person in general and personally, I believe religion should play a part in my efforts.
I wasn't really aware of any personal traits or hobbies I've had since I've just been living my life in a passive manner trying to please the people around me. The fatigue finally caught up to me and I finally tried to be more aware of my own needs and wants. I always had a fascination with creating something. I've doodled A LOT in my school days which slowly faded away but I've made efforts to come back to it. I also find incredible comfort in writing, though I often find that I don't have much to say and I also critique myself way too much over my writing. And only recently I found out that I enjoy tinkering with technologies like the web, servers, and other stuff.
I haven't had the time to explore any of those interests further due to my college tasks ramping up in my (hopefully) last year. I took a bachelor's program in Mechanical Engineering, though the choice was not properly made in my opinion. I had no interest nor much prior knowledge in engineering, though science and particularly physics was my strong subject in school and my father was also a mechanical engineering graduate. The decision was too logical with no consideration for my personal interests or goals. All I thought about back then was finding a program with a lot of future prospects. No idea why I needed that. It was probably mostly social expectations.
I've learned that I was lucky to be raised with kind values, and I will forever be grateful to my parents for that. But I've also learned the hard way that I need to value myself just as much and treat myself with just as much kindness as I've extended to other people. I just hope I'll find that balance someday
A Future to Pursue
Now that you've heard of my past, let me share what I want for my future. As I've said before, I'm currently in my last year in college so I would like to finish it so that I can put it behind me. The degree will be somewhat useful in getting a job should I need it. But what I wanted to do is to spend the time right after college to explore my interests. At least, that was the main plan until I had a serious talk with my partner about our shared future. She's eager to find a way to immigrate so we've been doing research and putting efforts into it.
I do want to still develop my coding skill to a point where I can use those skills to get paid. Preferably through a more independent framework such as freelancing. I also want to write and draw more. I just have to do all that while not being idle and jobless. Fortunately, even now I've already had a few connections and possible prospects of work from a business partly owned by my father. I get that it's technically nepotism, but in this economy, you take what you can get, am I right?
For my coding, I want to be able to create my own websites and web-based applications, meaning I want to become a full-stack web developer. I know it's not the most efficient way to go about it and most people would recommend focusing on either the front-end or back-end. But I really want to just be able to create my own thing, I'm not aiming to be able to create the next TikTok or something. I just want enough proficiency to make stuff on the internet for a person or a small business. Because the internet is amazing and I want to help people make the most out of it.
For my drawings, I want to be good enough to draw and design characters. I want to also be able to draw illustrations with backgrounds because I have a fantasy world I want to flesh out both visually and narratively. Therefore I also want to try and write stories and wiki entries for my fantasy world. That is where I want most of my creative energy to go towards. Though I am skeptical if I'll ever share that with the world. This project will take time and I still have no solid idea of how I will present this world of mine to the public. But I do want to put more effort into it.
I also want to play more games. I use to love playing games but I never could find the right time for it. And tied to that wish, it is my lifelong dream to have a gaming PC setup. It is just an amazing concept to me, having a really powerful machine that can play amazing games while also able to create them. A PC is a dream of mine and I'll get there one day.
And lastly, I want to make my partner happy by making her wish to immigrate to a different country come true. I don't know what is she searching for out there or what she hates so much about this place but I want to make her happy regardless.